I Wanna Get Married

Almost exactly one year ago to the day, a high school friend of mine flew in from out of town for business purposes. We had met up earlier on Facebook and one of her posts stated that she would be coming to Phoenix. So in a nonchalant fashion, I told her to call me if she had a chance while she was down this way and perhaps we could meet up. She was noncommittal and hesitant because it seemed that she was going to be very busy while she was here and she wasn't going to have much time. Well she did find herself with free time and she did actually call.

April 28th of 2009, we decided to meet that evening. I suggested an English pub nearby called the George and Dragon and gave her directions how to get there. Now this friend of mine is as cute as a button and I immediately identified her sitting at a table when I showed up. She had a huge smile for me. Through the evening we laughed and talked and commiserated. "You just got divorced? I did too!" I was smitten but faithless as I was, I couldn't see how all of this would really work out. She lived in Colorado and had two children. I lived in Arizona and had my daughter. Both of us had careers or jobs that paid decent which carried so much more weight than it would in a good economy. So after a bit of a whirlwind romance, she went her way but we still stayed very much in touch over the coming months.

Ah yes, a long distance romance. Now as a noted curmudgeon, I have several sayings I have picked up or made up over the years. One of the sayings I have let rattle around my skull is: Absence makes the heart go yonder. Most certainly, I thought, this would be the case. As for settling down again, my feelings on marriage were not much better (with all apologies to Msr. Mencken): Marriage is a wonderful institution... Who the hell wants to live in an institution? Even the object of my affection remembered some horrid statement from high school that I made about women's breasts (which I will never repeat). I, in short, was absolutely faithless. After years of dating, a divorce, more dating - I was fairly certain of how the universe worked. My love life was a revolving door. Hell, sometimes it revolved so fast it resembled a helicopter.

For the sake of full disclosure, I hadn't been completely faithless until about 6 months prior to seeing my romantic interest on that April day. Before that I was always certain that if a relationship lasted a certain amount of time that this girl or that girl was definitely THE ONE. Yes, capital letters: THE ONE. "Oh my God, that waitress lingered at our table and laughed, she must be THE ONE!" Sort of like the movie Highlander except with women and none of them had chopped off anyone's head that I know of (well there are a few that give me pause for thought now).

Now that I think about it, it's movies like Highlander that give us all such a warped view of love and romance. If "The Highlander" really loved that girl so much, he really shouldn't have tortured her by staying around to watch her die of old age. "Oh yes Connor, you are a strapping young man still. Thank you soooo much for reminding me that I pee in a diaper now." But I digress.

So months went on and we enjoyed talking everyday. Our own separate lives kept spinning in their own personal orbits. The cynic in me abated a bit. Maybe? I thought. Perhaps? I conjectured. Now there was absolutely nothing that would make me logically conclude there was hope of any kind. We had more of a chance making this work than a coconut covered snowball surviving in front of Aretha Franklin. Awww the smell of doomed romance. But my dear love had faith. That is the thing about her, she is filled with hope and kindness... and grace. My love has grace.

Even when she lost her job over the summer, she still had grace. Her boss at the time was a major league bitch spelled with a capital C. To know my girl, is to love my girl. Not liking her is akin to saying you kick puppies and make fun of Jerry's kids. This is not hyperbole, she is that nice. So when Queen Bitch (her official title I believe) let my dear beautiful girl out of her contract, you would think the members of her workplace were going to storm her office with torches and pitchforks. Torches wouldn't work, by the way, you'd have to chop her head off so Queen Bitch didn't come back to life in demon form. Yes, I just made another pseudo Highlander reference, if you are now using this entry as a drinking game, you should be in for 4 drinks I think (I refuse to go back and count).

Did I also tell you that my love is tenacious? She had a couple of months of severance but immediately started to hit the bricks looking for a new job. Which is, as some of you know, a daunting task right now. She looked high and low. As we talked each day, she was also informing me that she was looking right here in Phoenix. Now as good as she is, I must tell you that Phoenix is one of the worst job markets in the country but she never gave up. Eventually after a lot of time and a lot of effort, she started landing interviews in Colorado. A good portion of them low balled her because, hey, the economy sucks more than Lindsay Lohan on a coke binge so employees are free now amiright, amiright? Yes, these same free and perfect employees ride rainbow unicorns that run in the candy grass that is parted by milk chocolate streams. I know it's true. I saw it on the History Channel shows right after one of those "OMG WTF Nostradamus says we are all going to die because the Mayans said so" episodes.

She never gave up and was also putting in applications for Phoenix as well. It paid off. She got a call to come and interview and got the job before she was even a mile away from the business. In fact, she got several calls that week she came back down to see me. Three things happened when she came down for her interview: I got to see how wonderfully lovely she is in person again, I asked her to come live with me and she developed a penchant for humongous cream cheese smothered chicken burritos from Ajo Al's ( a fine local establishment). Less than a month later she was here and we have been incredibly happy ever since - all five of us!

Now I have spent a good part of this entry using a writer's conceit of not naming my dear sweet wonderful love but some of you know her as Christy Wood and some of you went to high school with her as well. I don't know why I used such a conceit but I do know my thesaurus got a workout. Really? Paramour means mistress or a derogatory term for a lover? I never knew. I always thought it was some sweet french word for lover (non derogatory). Nope. Oh I love etymology which is why I love the word putanesca so much. Look it up. Again, me, digressing.

So here we are Christy and I, a year later, madly passionately deeply in love. Everyday I am amazed by her and in only 3 months we will be wed. Everything fell so perfectly in place, it's a surprise we aren't just staring at a wall in pure catatonic wonderment. It has taught me that life is still filled with hope and mystery. Just when you think you understand the rudimentary mechanics of living a life, something comes along to humble you. Nothing is ever so simple but sometimes the hardest things can oddly appear that way. To us, everything seems so easy but if we were to repeat to you all of things we have done this year it would labor your mind and ears.

We could rebuild the pyramids or climb Mt Everest and never give much thought to how much work it would be as long as we were doing it together. For years, I really thought I knew what true love was but I was a complete idiot. Now I know what it is and all I can do is hope you too will find it if you haven't already. It is an amazing thing.