Hearts and Bones

"Thinking back to the season before
Looking back through the cracks in the door
Two people were married
The act was outrageous
The bride was contagious
She burned like a bride" - Hearts and Bones - Paul Simon

When I really want to watch Christy's face scrunch up like a disconcerted child, I tell her my theories about life, the universe and everything. "Honey, it will more than likely be proven, in the next year or so, that we all live in a massive hologram and we are parts of that hologram." A dour look comes over her face. She doesn't like such things. They bother her and I completely understand, so I try to avoid such talk even though it is in my nature at times. So I wonder sometimes to myself about the things that deeply amaze me. Whether Christy wants to believe it or not, she is one of those amazing things.

I think it's entirely possible that people can somehow write themselves into your genetic code or are such a perfect fit for you that you can barely remember what life was like before them. I have a hard time imagining life before Christy. Not that it's impossible, it just seems sad and difficult. It's confusing, because in a way, I think Christy has always been here. Not seeing Christy in my memory, before or past a certain point, pains me. I think something deep in me naturally assumes she was around when she really wasn't. She is a part of me and that's the easiest way to explain it.

Perhaps, the universe or God or any higher entity you choose has a preset of instructions for all of us that we will never be privy to in any shape, form or fashion. We do get glimpses of it. Sometimes it all unfolds like a novel or a fairy tale.

On the wedding day, as I waited for my bride to show up and friends filtered in, I wondered if this was what heaven was really like. At the base of a hill on a warm day under white puffy clouds in a deep blue sky, past, present and future were melting into one. A great number of people I loved and cared for were mingling about. Paul Crandon was here and my mind drifted back to listening to Paul Simon's Hearts and Bones and all the other times we had together; navigating the rough seas of teenage emotions.

At the dressing room door appeared Chad Skinner, I had not seen him in 25 years, at least. I was overwhelmed to see him there and automatically my mind shifted to riding bikes over dangerous hills and gullies; roaming the "jungles" that surrounded Spring Creek. I hugged him and over his shoulder I could see Debbie Cole smiling and waving and I thought about all those late nights at the High School theater and how amazing a teacher she was now. There she was with her beau and all around great guy Eric, just like always. Debbie had her camera at the ready and was taking the most amazing pictures of the affair.

I saw Scott Bradley and my mind went back to a cassette tape label and the times we would share songs and talk music endlessly as our sisters ran the neighborhood. And there was Kathy and Shelli and Sheila and Brian and Carol and Kelly and David! My mind was spinning. All of these people stepping out of time and into the day.

There was Lee and Jeff in the dressing room with me. Lee? I am quite sure I couldn't have picked a better man to stand by my side that day. Jeff was a trooper. He was running the sound at the last minute as the DJ which was a daunting task since nothing was in sync. Will, my new brother in law, was trying to help with as much as he could and still capture moments with his camera. Harrison, my step son dressed handsomely, was going through the crowd and making sure everything was ready to go. And thus, here, in this place was the present: new friends, new family and the friend of a lifetime, Lee.

Out on the rolling hill was Becky, my new sister in law, and Linda, my mother in law, and the children. They were all part of my new extended family and I adored all of them.

The music began and my bride walked down the hill with our beautiful daughters in front holding flowers with her sister and maid of honor Cathy looking lovely in the middle. As Christy swaggered up to the pastor and me (yes, she swaggered as cool as ice cream), I saw the past, present and future all become one. Here she was, the embodiment of all those things and more beautiful than I could ever have deserved. We had achieved a collapse of eras into one another. I saw Christy sitting in the high school drama room, I saw Christy smiling at me as she puts her head on my shoulder, I saw Christy by my side as we grew old together. I think back and wonder how the universe didn't become like an old tube tv being turned off at that moment; static, a collapsing bright line of light and a point fading into oblivion. But I realize that the story is not finished because there is so much more to tell and there will much more time to tell it. The story will just get better and better and it already has. We still can not explain how Becky knew exactly what our wedding song was and had written it into a book for our wedding when we had just chosen it ourselves.

If the universe does happen to be a hologram, as if it were some movie or tv program, I would like to tip my hat to the director and thank him for all the clever ideas. The script has been incredible and the actors have been amazing and I am not sure how I could have ever got through it all without my leading lady. My leading lady might scrunch up that beautiful face at the thought of it all, and well she should, but as for me, I am enjoying this act and looking forward to the next. So far, it's been a helluva show.