Lee and John's Cabinet of Curious Laments

Last night, late night ( I am soooo tired), we picked up my best friend and best man from the airport after his long and exhausting trip to England. It was great seeing him and I forgot to tell him I have an addition to our long list of "things we thought of and never did anything about". Over the years we have had a myriad of great ideas that we let falter, but discussed at length from time to time, only to see them come to fruition elsewhere. Sometimes I wonder if we should wear tin foil hats because it would seem that someone is picking our brains for fresh, new and exciting ideas. As an aside, I think this is precisely why Tesla was screwed out of the rightful title as the inventor of radio (that Marconi bastard). If you couldn't see it, I was shaking an angry fist between that last set of parenthesis. That Marconi and his magical mind reading invention. Grrrr!

So last night, Christy and I were watching the NBA playoffs. She is every man's dream, by the way. A beautiful woman who understands basketball and screams with futile fury at the screen as much as I do. Well, in between watching the Spurs get their heads handed to them by the Suns, there was a commercial for a car. Now my great idea wasn't the car itself, that was the idea of Siegfried Marcus. The Nazis tried to wipe his name and accomplishments off the face of the earth since he was Jewish, the teutonic twats. I can only imagine this was one of the many reasons that Henry Ford was a Nazi sympathizer - Charles Lindbergh still has no excuse. Sigh. Anyway. The innovation inside the car was basically a Tivo for the radio. You say, no big deal, so what? But this is something I gave a great amount of thought to and scribbled basic work flows for - ten years ago! If I ever actually act on any of my ideas, I will be a millionaire I tell you. For that matter, so will Lee.

This is not an uncommon occurance. Lee and I will lament at length all of the ideas we have tossed around for hours but never implemented. At times, we would even get into the design phase on certain things here and there. We still do. I am hesitant to tell you what any of these ideas are at present, just in case. You never know, we could overcome our long history of procrastination and "failure to launch" so we can start lighting our Cohiba cigars with rolled up 20's. Until that day, I do propose, as each idea falls into the "been there done that" category, we create a museum of our old ideas. It will mean very little to everyone else but it will at least let us look back in sad shame at what could have been.

Now I am perplexed because what if I think of a cool idea for our wedding and then some poor shlub just comes out and does it first. Is the tin foil under the wig I wear currently thick enough? Folks, I know what you're saying, my hair could not possibly be a wig. I find this to be excellent because I do pay my people quite a high wage in Taiwan to sew my wig from the finest Angora wool and Nutria hair that money can buy. They just put the Farraday cage inside of it as a bonus for me paying them $.90 an hour.

Well, okay, I will share ONE idea. Since I seem to be so obsessed with this whole Back to the Future thing lately (read other posts) and really, back to the future is sort of what we are doing by the very nature of our relationship, I was thinking of doing something along the lines of that movie. First, I kaboshed actually going back into the past to 1985 and punching the actor who plays Biff Tannen in the face or whatever to prove my love for Christy in some bizarre way. I bet he is actually a pretty nice guy in real life and really it wouldn't prove anything unless I had a photograph or something. I could step on a butterfly too and we'd all be ruled by a Nazi cyborg Joseph Kennedy and his mechanical dinosaurs built by Ford. Destroying all we know probably would not impress her as much as I would think it would. So you know, maybe I could recreate a scene from the movie in some creepy way to propose to her publicly. Then I read that this bastard already did that :

Bastard recreates Back to the Future for marriage proposal

So if you could build a wedding or a proposal, no holds barred, what would you do? I think it's high time I start stealing other people's ideas for a change...

(Oh I almost forgot, today's drinking game has to do with inventors. Spot them all and take a drink for each name dropped.)